So at the beginning, my blog was just called “katiecampblog”… so original am I right????
Disclaimer for my first blog posts: At the start of my blog (when I was freaking out about graduating and growing up…. because I was turning 18 and that was sooooo old), those blog posts were really really bad. I advise you to not go back and read those unless you want a good laugh. Please don’t judge me for those. I read two of them to my roommate while on a shopping trip at Walmart. She almost dropped to the floor laughing. Literally.
Recently (well a couple months ago recently…oops) I changed it to “Pursuing the Prize”. You were probably asking why that name? What is this prize you are supposedly pursuing?
****** A little backstory first….
The start of this school year brought on a lot of stress and heartbreak, I won’t go into the minor details. I was doubting my faith a lot and I wasn’t sure if I believed that God really had a plan for my life. I was relying on the plan I had created. God really showed me that my plan wasn’t what he had in mind.
I was in my first relationship and God ended that. I think he looked at me and saw how I began to rely on my boyfriend for happiness rather than Him. (And that is for no means of bashing my ex… He was a great guy and God just had a better plan for both of us… separately…) In addition to God, I was relying on this plan I had laid out in my mind for the both of us and I forgot how strong and independent I was… as my own person. I was afraid to ever be alone again and I thought I couldn’t do life without him.
After our breakup, I was broken and unsure of where to go next. This relationship was a huge part of me for the past 11 months of my life. The plan I had so tediously laid out in my mind was shattered to pieces; this intricate image of my future life fell into a black hole and disappeared forever.
You know how all the amazing evangelists, missionaries, pastors, and student ministry leaders have that one moment of despair where they fall on the floor in their room completely broken before God? I had never had one of those moments… until that night…
In all the tears, God came to me and reminded me of my identity in Him, as his beloved daughter. He reminded me that I was smart, honest, independent, strong, loving, compassionate, and caring towards others. He had given me these incredible volleyball skills, he surrounded me with loving friends, and I was at the college that was meant for me.
He kept telling me, “I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve got you… I promise.”
That was the turning point for me.
***** Back to the current time…
I went back and read a few of the books that people had given me in the past about life, relationships, dating etc. I’m not an avid reader so that probably comes as a shock to people that I read books… voluntarily. God spoke to me in astounding ways and my trust for his plan only grew.
Two months after that night, I was baptized for the first time. I decided super short notice to the date of the baptism, but God still provided. He was able to get my parents, siblings, and grandparents up to Hot Springs on a week’s notice. What a joyous day that was to be around my loved ones and my teammates and coach that came to support me as well! I was blessed in so many ways 🙂 I had wanted to be baptized for so long, but I had never taken charge of the opportunity when I had it.
As if enough hadn’t already changed, I felt Him tugging on my heart when I was thinking about my major. I know I wrote that blog posts a few months back outlining my journey to finally declaring a major…. but…. God showed me that my first decision wasn’t the final one. I won’t go through a long story this time, but God pushed my ability to think logically and do well in math out in plain sight. This has led me to pursue a double major in Accounting and Finance. I’m very excited for my new journey!
Well I’ve spent long enough on my life update, and so I’ll get back to the original reason for this post.
So why the name change??? With all these drastic changes in my relationship status (socially and with God) and my major, God really began to show me that he was in charge. When I rededicated my life to the Lord a few months ago and got baptized, I was reminded of the very fact that I am here to serve his purpose and his alone. I think we all get so caught up in our social lives, sports, jobs, money… whatever it is, you name it. We forget that God has a plan for us that’s greater than all those things combined. As I said previously, my first relationship taught me that I can’t forget to seek God for my purpose and happiness. When I get caught up in what I want to do, I stop seeking Him for advice. I can’t forget that He put me on this earth to serve a specific purpose that He designated for me, not one of my own choosing since he is completely sovereign. If I live for Christ and reflect his kindness and mercy on those around me, I will one day gain the prize of eternal inheritance in the kingdom of heaven.
I know God has another man designated for me, but for now, I’m going to keep holding onto his promises and pursuing that prize he will one day award me.